Daydreams and Detours: loveTOOmuch

On March 22, 2013 my nephew - Connor - fell into a firepit in his backyard. A freak accident that included a bed of coals, a misstep, lost balance, and a fall. The result was that he suffered third degree burns on his right arm and hip (roughly 10% of his body surface) and a few second degree burns as well. This kid is simply amazing. He's gritted through pain, maintained his "go hard or go home" attitude, and remains the sweet boy we all know him to be. But that's not what this post is about ... it's just the prelude.

One night, after a rather tough day, Connor and his dad (my brother) were saying their prayers. Afterward, my brother noticed that Connor was crying a little bit. He asked him "what's wrong bud?" Connor replied "nothing, I just love you too much." Here was this little boy, lying in a hospital bed after enduring pain more intense than many of us will ever experience ... and he's thinking about his Dad. His dad signed off on that post with "loveTOOmuch" which started me pondering. Can we ever love too much?

I know that there are cases where love can be warped into something ugly and in those cases I am sure it *is* possible to "love" too much. But that isn't really love. It's obsession. It's possibly co-dependence. It's ... well it's something other than pure love. The kind of love a son has for his father and family and for others.

It reminds me of when Connor was younger ... possibly 4 or 5 years old. I had just started getting involved with dog rescue and found myself bringing home a scruffy looking white dog named Barney. That story has been told about how Barney came to live with my mom, but the reason he stayed is indirectly related to Connor. Mom used the excuse that "the kids" (Connor and his younger sister Kendall) would enjoy having a dog at her house to play with when they came to visit. I knew that secretly she had fallen in love with Barney like every other person who met him did. So Barney stayed and became Mom's first rescue dog.

Not long after that I found myself in a situation where my two dogs were in quarantine for 10 days and my house felt too empty and quiet. I decided to foster two dogs and naively believed I could find them both homes before my two got out of "the joint." One found a home, but the other didn't. I asked Mom if Dot could stay with her while I looked for a forever home for her. She agreed (albeit a bit reluctantly). Connor came to stay with her that weekend. He asked why Nee-Nee had Dot. I told him because I had rescued her from an animal shelter and I was looking for a new home for her. Connor asked why Dot was in a shelter. I told him that I wasn't sure but probably because she didn't have a good home where people loved her and took care of her. He asked why she couldn't stay at the shelter (I could sense that this line of questioning was going down a not-so-happy-path at that moment). I told him that shelters don't always have enough room for all of the animals that people don't want anymore. I could see the look on his face as he tried to process why someone wouldn't want their dog anymore. Then he asked what happens to the dogs that don't get rescued. Oh boy. Connor is the kind of kid you can't placate. You have to play it straight with him. So I told him that sometimes shelters have to put really sick dogs, or dogs who are hurt badly to sleep. That they give them a shot that makes them fall asleep and not hurt anymore and sometimes they have to do that when that don't have enough room. He simply said "oh." That is Connor. He asks, you answer, he says "oh" and then he ponders. He didn't say anymore after that.

The next day, Mom couldn't find Connor. She looked around the house and finally found him under the bed in the spare room .... sobbing and with Dot. She finally coaxed him out and begged him to tell her what was wrong. He hiccuped his way through saying "Nee-Nee, I just LOVE Dot! Why would someone want to kill her?" She explained that noone wanted to kill Dot. That Ti-Ti (that's me) had rescued Dot out of the shelter so that wouldn't happen to her and to make room for another dog so they would stay alive too. And then she called me and told me that Dot would be staying. So, Mom's second rescue dog - Dot - has Connor and his big heart to thank for her home today.

Most recently, Connor's compassion showed up again as he passed the room of his neighbor in ICU and teared up a bit. Who knows what was going through his mind, but I know there was empathy in his heart. That's love too.

Connor is a rough and tumble kid. He plays every sport he can. He rides a dirt bike (or his motorcycle as he prefers to call it). He's all boy. And he also has a sweet and kind spirit. He's compassionate. He's kind. He's a thinker. He's just a neat kid. And he's been an inspiration during this current ordeal. Here is a kid that has TOO much love. I wanted a way to visually represent that phrase and to find a way for all of the people who have shown him such support to show they are on Team Connor and rooting for him. So of course I decided there needed to be a shirt for that. :)

I found a site called CustomInk.com and when going through their artwork, one just jumped out at me. When your love (that you have and that's given too you) gets to be TOO much ... you pass it on. You share that love with those who might not have enough. Maybe it's a person. Maybe it's a rescue dog. Maybe it's a friend ... or a stranger. The point is that if you have TOO much, you give some of that extra away - pass it on. If each of us gave a little of our TOO much love I think the world would be a much better place.

So I picked this image to represent that: